Wednesday, 27 February 2008

In which I discuss the trajectory of lingerie

So this weekend I am Getting out of Tauranga! finally, and pootling down to the Hawkes Bay where I am from, to attend to one of my yearly traditions.
No matter what, I always attend the concert at the Mission Estate winery. It's held around this time every year, and is always a great day out.
This year the star of the show is none other than Mr Tom Jones. While I have never been a huge fan of his, I am really looking forward to this concert because he is such a showman. I have stocked up on large granny knickers to hurl at his face with a catapult, so look out for a headline "Tom Jones suffocates on a pair of incontinence panties".
The concert day will go something like this:
  • Eat enormous breakfast
  • Cover self in sunscreen
  • Make large picnic lunch of bread rolls, chicken and coleslaw
  • Pack silly amounts of alcohol and ice into a chilly bin. (yes you can take booze in. I know. It's awesome).
  • Head to a mate's house for a pre-concert BBQ. Play Tom Jones CD, get halfway through it and put good music on instead.
  • 3pm- get to concert and spend a good 10 minutes staking out our area with cut-in-half rubbish bags which will end up in shreds by the end of the night
  • 5pm - wave arms in the air to the first support act, usually a 14 year old kid from the local highschool on a banjo
  • 6pm - go nuts to Jimmy Barnes, who is the main support act - especially to "Last Train out of Sydney". Voted best rock song ever in Aussie when I was there. Beating Queen and the Rolling Stones. Insane.
  • 8:30pm - hazily glance toward stage and realise Tom Jones has started. Try to stand up and sing along. Realise I know none of his songs. Weave my way to the loo.
  • Bump into a thousand old friends from school and have a good natter. Miss most of the concert.
  • Leave 15 minutes early and hitchhike home with a cruising boy racer to beat the crowds. I have done this every year and always get home in 10 minutes. Waiting for a cab can take up to 2 hours. Dangerous? Hey by this stage I'm invincible.
  • Have lovely cold shower and fall into bed after drinking a litre of water and chopping 2 nurofen.
  • Wake up, wish for death.

So it's going to be an awesome weekend - I shall let you know how it goes and post pics!