Friday, 7 October 2011

Do Not Operate Heavy Machinery

Scene: dimly lit house interior. Random objects are scattered on every possible surface. Dinner is defrosting in the microwave. Enter AMY: dishevelled, in milk spattered feeding top, ripped leggings (not in a fashionable way) and slippers; and RICHARD: hollow-eyed, in work clothes that are also spattered in milk.


Amy: I can't find my wallet
Richard: *stares uncomprehendingly*.
Amy: My wallet. You know, the purse I keep my cards in? I can't find it.
Richard: What does it look like?
Amy: It's green. And stripy. And.....*gestures with hands*
Richard: *stares uncomprehendingly*
Amy: When did we last use it?
Richard:........Saturday?
Amy: What day is it today? What did we do yesterday?
BOTH SILENT
Richard: Did we leave the house?
BOTH SILENT
Amy: What did I last buy? Have I been to the supermarket?
Richard: I'll check the car.
Amy: *empties nappy bag - nothing - and packs it up again*
Richard: Nothing.
BOTH STARE AT EACH OTHER FOR WHAT SEEMS LIKE AN ETERNITY
Richard: Have you remembered where you last used it?
Amy: Was it Saturday after lunch? We went to the TAB to put a bet on the rugby? Who paid for that?
BOTH SILENT
Amy: *empties nappy bag again*
Rich: *checks car again*
BOTH LOOK BLANKLY AROUND THE WARZONE OF THE HOUSE
Amy: *opens nail polish bag of tricks that hasn't been used in weeks - finds wallet*
Amy: I found it.
Richard: Oh.
BOTH SILENT

FIN