Friday, 7 October 2011

Do Not Operate Heavy Machinery

Scene: dimly lit house interior. Random objects are scattered on every possible surface. Dinner is defrosting in the microwave. Enter AMY: dishevelled, in milk spattered feeding top, ripped leggings (not in a fashionable way) and slippers; and RICHARD: hollow-eyed, in work clothes that are also spattered in milk.


Amy: I can't find my wallet
Richard: *stares uncomprehendingly*.
Amy: My wallet. You know, the purse I keep my cards in? I can't find it.
Richard: What does it look like?
Amy: It's green. And stripy. And.....*gestures with hands*
Richard: *stares uncomprehendingly*
Amy: When did we last use it?
Richard:........Saturday?
Amy: What day is it today? What did we do yesterday?
BOTH SILENT
Richard: Did we leave the house?
BOTH SILENT
Amy: What did I last buy? Have I been to the supermarket?
Richard: I'll check the car.
Amy: *empties nappy bag - nothing - and packs it up again*
Richard: Nothing.
BOTH STARE AT EACH OTHER FOR WHAT SEEMS LIKE AN ETERNITY
Richard: Have you remembered where you last used it?
Amy: Was it Saturday after lunch? We went to the TAB to put a bet on the rugby? Who paid for that?
BOTH SILENT
Amy: *empties nappy bag again*
Rich: *checks car again*
BOTH LOOK BLANKLY AROUND THE WARZONE OF THE HOUSE
Amy: *opens nail polish bag of tricks that hasn't been used in weeks - finds wallet*
Amy: I found it.
Richard: Oh.
BOTH SILENT

FIN

2 comments:

Jennifer (Jen on the Edge) said...

I promise, you will get sleep again. Hang in there.

gaijinwife said...

ahhh, the joys of the first months. Does it help that I'm still like this? Two more children and five years later?