Winter whinges

It’s so cold right now that.....

.....I put a hot water bottle under Basil’s blanket on his chair. Rolled eyes from Richard.
.....I’ve stopped shaving my legs to get extra warmth.
.....I can see my breath when I’m lying in bed.
.....Meat defrosts faster if I put it in the fridge instead of on the bench.
.....I prefer being at work, because of the central heating.
.....I haven’t seen my body for days, apart from brief glimpses when I dart from dressing gown to steamy shower and back again
.....the fireplace is judged, poked, fed, watched over and hugged, all to obtain maximum hotness.
.....the three of us take up 50% of the bed due to the amount of burrowing into each other.
.....I count it as a warm day if I’m only wearing 3 layers UNDER the actual outfit.

It’s really cold.