Thursday, 31 January 2008

Please hold

Weird. I am eating an apple that has been imported from the USA, and it is juicy, crunchy and sweet. Last week I bought apples from NZ, that were yellow, floury, and sour. Admittedly it's not apple season for another month or so, but you'd think that if we can get strawberries and vine ripened tomatoes all year round, we should be able to get a humble apple.

Anyhoodle, what a week it's been people, with websites being launched and the phone permanently stapled to my ear. A sample conversation:

Wonderful client: "I can't get into your website."
Guru Helper" "Okay then, what's your full name"
WC "Mr Technologically Challenged"
GH "Dad is that you?" (kidding)
GH "Okay sir, your user name is ZX978465."
WC "seven....twelve.....banana..."
GH "No sir, Z....X...."
WC "Slow down will you, I can't type very fast. Wait, I need to put the phone down."

Goes away for about 1o minutes. I can see about 20 other phone calls lining up.

WC "Okay so that's in. What's my password?"
GH "We don't keep passwords on file sir, your password is one you chose yourself."
WC "How am I supposed to remember that? Hang on I'll try some."

Puts phone down again. I can see, after four hours, that he has tried too many times and locks himself out.

WC "I've locked myself out."
GH "I'll just re-set your password - it is now 34567"

Puts phone down again. I go home for the night and come back in the morning, and then wait two hours for him to finish entering his password.

WC "What's this security image? I can't read that! It's all blurry!"
GH "It's to stop automated spammers, Mr Challenged. It's added security for yourself."
WC "Can you remove it?"
GH *snorts* "No, I'm afraid I can't."
WC "Can you tell me what it says?"
GH "Sir, it's different for everyone. It's just 5 letters that you need to type in a field."
WC "This is ridiculous! I cannot see what they say! Put me through to your CEO! I am going to complain!"
GH "As you wish."

This has been my life for the last 6 days. I have never been abused so much in my life, for something I have not done. It's made me realise that although we call Help numbers and picture a thousand monkeys in a call centre room, it might just be one person trying to do a million things at once.

Of course though, on the way home I got pissed off at the COMPLETE INEPTITUDE of the supermarket check out girl.

1 comment:

Jennifer (Jen on the Edge) said...

After that wonderfully funny story, all I can think is, "What kind of apple from the U.S.?"