Depresssion is a funny thing. It's like this black prickly cloud that hangs over you, stopping anything fun and nice getting through, instead enveloping you in a big ball of Blah.
Hence yesterday, when I thought about doing a year-end wrap up, all I could think of was, wow, this is the first Christmas that I can remember that I have been single. WHAT A SHIT YEAR.
Then the drugs must have kicked in, and suddenly I noticed a photo of Amelie on my fridge. Oh yeah that's right. A little person that I love unconditionally is now in my life, and smiles at me all the time. The relationship I have with my sister and her husband is so lovely and I have them moving 3 minutes drive away from me to look forward to.
I also cast my eye around where I was, which was In My Own Home, a home that if you had asked me what my dream home was, would have matched pretty well. Except it's not in France. But hey.
Basil came running up and brushed against my legs and I thought oh yes, I also have this precious black ball of fur who follows me everywhere and loved prancing all over the garden doing the butt wiggle every time he sees a bird. I can't imagine my home without him.
I looked at the spare room and thought in a week I'll have my Mum and Step-dad staying, who have given me so much this year, and I can finally give something back.
So while 2007 has had plenty of downs, there are also plenty of ups, and the sick thing about depression is that they tend to get lost among the downs. Sometimes I need a good kick in the pants to remember just what I do have.
Monday, 17 December 2007
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When I think about your year, I think about your lovely house with the gorgeous plants outside. I think about how lucky you are to be an aunt to so many adorable children. So I agree, you do have some nice things to make you smile!
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