Late summer

So yesterday morning we slept in, woke up to a beautiful sunny day, leapt out of bed (as much as the bottle-of -wine-each the previous night would let us) and got ready to go for a walk on the beach and around the Mount while we still could.
I'm out of the shower and drying off when I notice Basil skedaddling around in the corner of our room looking crafty. I go in. "What are you doing in there Mr Brushie boo?"

Turns out Mr Brushie boo was weeing in the corner! Zipping out the door and hiding outside, he gets away with it. Never having had to deal with this before - Basil has always been exceptionally well toilet-trained - I stare at the puddle uncomprehendingly. Snapping into action, Rich grabs the paper towels and I go to work, butt nekkid, hair dripping. Cursing the rule I put in place where I have to clean up poos and spews, and Rich cleans up dead things, I get it off the carpet using just water.

Lately next-door's kitten has found his way into our house through the cat door, and is eating all of Basil's biscuits. It's very hard to scare it away because it has no fear, and it's very cute, a miniature version of Basil but with 6 toes. It's polydactyl (is that the right word??) and has huge paws compared to the rest of it. But we now have water pistols, we've locked the cat door from the outside and we put the biscuits away at night. But Basil is obviously not happy about it, and shows his displeasure by doing a big wee inside. Thanks pal.

Taking the soaking paper towels to the kitchen, I then see a big blot on the landscape. An enormous cockroach has found his way into the house and is cruising up the wall. Now I can handle any insect - snakes - anything - but cockroaches make my skin crawl. I don't know what it is. Screaming for Rich, he comes running yet again with the paper towels, but misses it and it runs under the oven. I spray the hell out of it and wait. Nothing. Knowing there is a massive cockroach IN MY HOUSE makes me feel ill. Eventually it drags itself out, looking like it has survived shelling from the Germans in WWII. Rich nabs it and flushes it down the loo.

Not a great way to start Sunday. Funny thing is, the first thought I had was - if I was in Auckland, this would have ruined my day. We're so much happier here that it takes a LOT to get us down. In Auckland, burning the toast would have meant not speaking all day. Amazing huh?

A spot of gardening

One of the best things about moving back home is always having something to do. Back in Dorkland, Richard and I would have to leave home to create our fun, which usually meant spending money, or screaming at each other in traffic jams over which way we SHOULD have gone. But here in Tauranga, I have a list a mile on that keeps me happy at home. At the top are always gardening tasks, because I would rather have a tidy garden than a tidy home (I WIN OVER NATURE).

Anyhoo we have a lovely guy Ian Dickie do our lawns (our lawn mower being a fire hazard). He noticed that we had a lot of oxalis poking its head up through our flowerbeds. This oxalis only showed up after we mulched using pea straw. WEED FREE EXPENSIVE pea straw. Hum. Anyway, he gave us a tip that, at this time of year, oxalis creates a bulb way down deep, and all you have to do is dig it up. So today, I did.

Let me tell you, finding these pointy pink knobs deep in the dirt was like popping a huge pimple, or extracting a stubborn ingrown hair. Disgusting but oh so satisfying. The whole garden only took me 30 mins and so long as I'm onto it, we should be oxalis free.


This is my raised veggie patch. I've got, from bottom up, broccoli, brussel sprouts and beetroot. All Rich's favourites. At the top is some late-summer cos lettuce. We have a white moth infestation at the moment so I have to derris dust every day. Not so sure how good it is because I have seen the moths landing directly on top of the dust and there's still tiny eggs on the leaves. Will just have to be vigilant I guess. Looking forward to the brussel sprouts, I was watching Jamie Oliver grow them and they look fantastic, big knobbly stalks. Hopefully we get a couple of good frosts this winter to make them extra sweet. Otherwise they just taste like farts.

The grape vine was left to grow wild while we were away, which means it's a big mess of canes and weeds. Hasn't harmed the grapes any though, and I probably eat an entire bunch a day. They are the most delicious things in the world. Grapes from a supermarket don't taste anything like these. Why is that? Anyone?

This half-wine barrel was the subject of my previous post. Look closely on the ground and you'll see lots of annoying white balls. It looks great on the corner of our deck and the pansies are coming up nicely. Although the "red" pansy is coming up severely yellow/orange. If I wanted ginga, I would have asked for it.

Richard was given this drinks bath as a present in his younger years. When I laid eyes on it, I said "we're too old for parties anyway." Half a bag of potting mix and a few drill holes later, I have all my favourite herbs close by (basil, rosemary, sage, thyme and mint). Plus I can move it around to sit in the different sunny spots according to the seasons. How Martha is that?

This is my edible Thai area, with a lime and chili plant. The lime we took with us from Auckland. It's grown more in one month here than it ever did there - needed full sun, which we didn't get. Unfortunately we'll get no fruit this season but am sure that next year it'll be chockers. The chili has also taken off and is still flowering. Tonight I'm making Thai beef salad with rice noodles and one of these puppies will be chopped into a tangy lime and fish sauce dressing.

And there you go. Send me tips, advice or kudos!

Idiocy

Richard and I spent the weekend breaking our backs in the garden, getting everything back to how we like it, which to me, is not a blade of grass out of place, and to Rich, is somewhere he can sit and drink a beer.
Last year we bought half a wine barrel for the absurdly cheap price of $30, and it's been sitting doing nothing since then. Finally we put it in the corner of the deck. I decided I wanted it to be full of lovely flowers. So rustic and charming! Anyhoo it's very large, and would cost a lot to fill with potting mix, all for some shallow-rooting flowers. Rich pipes up.
"I saw this thing on a gardening show once, where they filled the bottom of the pot with beanbag beans, and then put the soil on the top to save space and allow for drainage!"
Makes sense to me. Off we potter to Bunnings to buy said beans and also lots of potting mix. Keep in mind we'd been gardening all day, it was 28 deg, and we had fairly bad hangovers from too much wine the night before. Brains were not fully engaged.
Getting home, we pour the beans into the wine barrel. They fill it halfway. So far, so good. We break open a bag of potting mix and start to shovel it on top of the beans. Flump. The dirt immediately sinks to the bottom. We try again. Flump.
Brows are furrowed. Turns out we'd forgotten about the laws of gravity and density. By now, the tiny beans are dotted around the deck and are sticking to our clothing and hands. I have the incredibly bright idea to water them down with the hose.
A good 5 mins later, I realise that the beans aren't spongey, and therefore are merely floating on top of the water. We now have dirty bean soup.
We still don't give up, and try laying plastic sheeting over the top of the beans. We dump more dirt onto the sheeting. Flump. It disappears under the sea of beans.
By now we are giggling like school kids. The beans are floating all over the place, and it looks like it's been snowing.
Finally we give up, and scoop out the beans with a bucket and into a rubbish bag. We are totally covered in the little fuckers and get maybe half into the bag. The rest fly off into the ether.
We end up doing what we should have done all along and filled the entire barrel with potting mix. 120 litres. Ah well. I planted red, white and blue pansies which hopefully will make an appearance in a couple of weeks. It looks rull pruddy.
The white beans are everywhere however and hopefully get munched in the lawnmower. Sorry environment.
Later on, I say to Richard: this gardening show. They used 1 cm of beans with a very small pot didn't they?
There is a pause.
Yes, he says.
Ah well. God loves a trier!

The Ventilator

We're back in the sunny BOP, in our old home in Tauranga. And boy is it sunny - it's 27 degrees out there says my thermometer - and a load of washing dries in an hour. I'm wearing minimal clothing, much to the horror of the hordes at the supermarket - and it took me half a song to drive there. NO TRAFFIC LIGHTS. No Audi and BMW drivers taking up two lanes. No snooty ladies-of-a-certain-age hogging the hummus section. It was bliss.

Moving back has been a two-sided coin. It is utterly fantastic to be back in our house. To have our garden back, and our driveway, and the ability to put holes in the wall, should I want to. I certainly wanted to when I saw the state that the previous tenants had left our house. Keep in mind, this is with a property manager doing quarterly inspections. And here's where I've given myself the name the Ventilator. Look out for me on the wrestling circuit.

The walls were YELLOW. And sticky. The oven was filthy. The extractor fan literally dripping in oil and fat. And why was this? The family that were renting our home were Indian. They cooked all day every day, and never opened a door or a window, or, it seems, picked up a cloth and some Easy Off Bam (my new favourite thing in the world). The smell is horrendous. And it's not only the kitchen. Every room has stains, marks, and has never been cleaned to any normal person's standards. I am furious on so many levels - at the property manager for not doing her job, at the tenants for being disgusting, and at myself for my naivety in thinking they would take as good care of this place as I did.

After a comedy of errors, my family and I had to clean the entire house ourselves. I have gone through 3 bottles of Easy Off Bam, 4 kitchen cloths, 3 pairs of gloves and an entire bottle of bleach. I've mopped the ceiling, the grouting around the toilet, and removed cooking fat from my washing line. MY WASHING LINE. Honestly, I've been a student in Dunedin, and we were so disgusting, but at the end of the year, we left those flats spotless.

So it's off to the Tenancy Tribunal and the insurance company so that we can fix the damage (food colouring on polished floorboards, mildew on all brand-new curtains...etc. etc. etc.). If you're thinking of renting out your home, DON'T DO IT. Seriously.

After a week of cleaning, it's slowly coming right. I have bunches of lilies around, and a Jo Malone candle in Wild Fig and Cassis that is just gorgeous. The hot weather means all windows and doors are open. Yesterday I spent the day in the garden, cutting back the roses, removing whisky bottles from shrubs (!!!), planting flowers and vegetables. It was glorious. At 5pm, I poured myself a stiff gin and wandered around looking at my work. Basil followed along, happy as a clam to be back in his domain. It was so lovely.

I should probably think about getting a job. I just popped to the supermarket to get some more Easy Off Bam (I should get shares) and ended up spending over $100. Oops. Richard has a new job as a Mortgage Broker and Insurance Something, and has been at a course for two weeks in Auckland. He gets back tonight. A friend of ours gave us a beautiful bottle of Villa Maria Methode Traditionelle for our engagement which is chilling now. I can't wait to clink glasses and wish ourselves a happy and succesful time back here in the 'Raunga.

Also, updating my blog should be much more frequent now that we have internet at home. I've also been spurred on by my talented sister, who has started a blog of her own. Check it out!

xx

Crossing the ditch

I am in countdown mode this week, as we're off to Surfers Paradise on Saturday morning. Rich and I have both been struck down with the flu, for which I am thankful, because how often do you hear of people getting sick on their holiday? At least we're getting it now.
So after what seems to have been an exceptionally long and dismal winter, we're super excited about getting our pins out and wearing our jandals again. I have even bought a new nail polish to celebrate. I know. It's called Suzi and the Lifeguard and is an OPI polish. It's a lovely pale pink with a slight shimmer to it.
We also are feeling pretty smirky because we have a Thing where, if we have coins in our pockets/wallets/back of the couch, we put them into a money box. I hauled the contents into the bank today and the sum total will pay for a new fragrance for us both and should stock up the booze cabinet also from Duty Free. I absolutely love Duty Free shops...I know it's only a bit cheaper than normal, and you can probably find better prices online...but there's something about knowing that you're getting a bargain and everything smells delicious and everyone's happy because they're going on holiday. Brilliant. Fragrance-wise, I'm going to get Ange ou Demon by Givenchy, because it's the first perfume in a long time that I've actually been able to single out from the myriad of others on the market these days. Rich is getting Fahrenheit, which I adore. Mmmm.
So while we're in Surfers we're going to visit some theme parks - Rich is DYING for Wet n Wild, but being a lady and terrified of heights, I might need to talk him out of this one. We're going to Dreamworld too, but what I most want to do is lie on the beach in the sun. It was 31 degrees there in the weekend - and 16 here. Ahhhhhhh.
Basil has also been in the wars this week. He's very....licky. Like, his fur is sticky, he's so licky. I sound like Run DMC. So he's off to the vet tomorrow before his trip to Karakakats this weekend. Poor wee button.
Our weekend was lovely. We had drinks at ours with some friends on Friday night. We made the most delicious nibbles platter. It had wasabi peas, pistachios, havarti cheese, pate, grapes, feta dip, rice crackers and normal crackers. We mowed it. We also mowed a heck of a lot of wine. We then toddled off up the road to a very small and casual pizza place where we terrorized the owner into having a wine with us and giving him all sorts of advice on how he should do his pizzas. We were awful. It was great though. Hangover the next day - not so great.
Last week I had a tiny operation.... I had a neuroma in my leg. It's this thing. This big hurty thing. So the doctor cut it out....it looked like a cooked lentil. Amazing that something so tiny could cause me soooo much pain. Anyhoo, I now have 3 stitches on the back of my thigh, and an excuse to get out of doing pretty much anything. The word "stitches" opens a lot of doors. Thankfully, it's not a tumour. Well, probably not.
I bought a pair of jeans yesterday. This is only because I have lost 4kgs. Me and jeans shopping do not have a happy relationship. Because I am apple shaped, and short, I have a battle of a time finding a pair of jeans that fits around my tummy, and doesn't make my ass look like the saggy baggy elephant. But, minus 4kgs and nothing to eat for breakfast = success! 3 inches of hem are being removed as we speak, so I can finally throw away my old pair of jeans that I've had for 3 whole years. Madness.
Summer is on the way here......the entire neighbourhood has caught the gardening bug. All we can hear is leaf blowers. In my day, we used a broom. It seems that spending 2 hours chasing leaves all over the place with a roaring, stinking piece of plastic is what you do in the affluent suburb where we are renting. The neighbours also chopped down an enormous lovely pine tree near to our backyard, where tui and keruru would play. I think it annoyed them because every so often, a pine needle would fall off, and land on their Audi, possibly scratching the paintwork and necessitating in an upgrade to the newer model. Thankfully, the tui have now adopted the puriri tree in our backyard, so we are treated to their beautiful song day in and day out. Luckily Basil only shows interest in sparrows, of which there are billions, because they are smaller than him and have ninety million feathers for him to distribute around our hallway and under the furniture. Richard and I have a pact - I do poos and spews, he does dead things. We both think the other got a better deal.
So, back to our Australia trip. We're planning on doing a lot of eating, drinking, lazing about, and spending of money. We finagled really good costs for tickets, and accommodation, thanks to knowing people in the right places. So we're going to spoil ourselves, because we have both had such a difficult year - not with each other, but money-wise, job-wise, living-wise, it's been rough. Here's to a well-deserved rest and celebration time, and what a way to bring in Summer by getting a tan ahead of everyone else. Yessssssss!

Mother Goose for the Millenium

Every night when I get home, a few kids from around the street are playing on the neighbour’s trampoline, in their pyjamas and slippers.
They’re about 10, 8 and 6, and although they have all sorts of games involving the two elder boys double-bouncing the younger, I’ve never heard any of them get hurt.
Last night I was cooking tea with the front door open to let the frying onion smell escape, and was having a sly eavesdrop of their hilarious conversations.
“Jack loves Dayna!”
“DO NOT!!”
“Do TOO!”
“It’s my turn….let me have a go…” this from the littlest one.
“Jack and Dayna up a tree….K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”.
There are sounds of wrestling.
“Jack and Dayna went up the hill to fetch a bottle of water. Don’t know what they did up there but now they’ve got a daughter!”
There is a silence, then the little one bursts into squeals of laughter. I am giggling, not only because they’re repeating the exact same songs we used to sing as kids, but also because in this modern age, a pail has become a bottle.
“Jack and Dayna went up the hill to fetch a bottle of water. Don’t know what they did up there but now they’ve got a daughter!!”
There is so much hysterical laughter that I can’t help it and laugh with them.
A tiny voice pipes up. “Jack and Dayna went up the hill to fetch a bottle of water…Jack fell down and broke….got a daughter?”
“That’s not how it goes, dumbass.” DOUBLE-BOUNCE.

Back from the dead......

I have no idea if anyone will read this because no doubt you’ve all given up on me….I would have if I was reading me. You suck! I would be saying, and turning to more pictures of cats with funny captions, or totallylookslike.com. Posh Spice and Falcor had me laughing for days.

But please have mercy. You are no doubt well aware that I am always whingeing about something and this month the whingeing was about my job. Not the job itself, but that the work it entailed took over my life for 6 weeks, due to this new Thing we are doing, and only today – today! – have I had time to breathe. I’m not going to bore you with the details of what we were doing….the mere mention of “going live with new system” glazes the eyes of even my closest friends, and Basil rolls his eyes and puts his paws over his ears.

So anyhoodle. Where have I been and what have I been doing! Well.

Firstly was the trip to Fiji in May. God it was beautiful. I loooove Fiji, and Fijians, and Fiji Gold beer, and stonkingly strong cocktails made by gorgeous Fijians. We went as a family group of 13 to Treasure Island, which is about a 40 minute boat ride from Denarau. The entire island is the one resort and you can walk around it in 15 minutes, apparently. That sentence there shows how active I was on this holiday, unless you count dragging the deckchair around on a point to get the most sun.

My feet.

I spent most of my days lying on the beach reading books – I got through 3 including Marian Keyes’ latest and Gordon Ramsay’s autobiography – and snorkelling.
Prepare to be jealous with this little anecdote: I’m off snorkelling with my brother in law Ben – Amelie’s Dad – and we’ve got fistfuls of bread snaked from the breakfast table. Over in the distance I see a big blur heading towards us. I clutch Ben’s arm and we stop. Turns out the blur is this ENORMOUS big school of the most beautiful yellow fish, each about the size of my hand. I hold my bread out and am surrounded by this cloud of yellow. I can feel them nibbling my legs and arms and one ducks down my togs to get at the rest of the bread I’ve stored there. I’m laughing out loud, and Ben decides to dive right into the middle of them. They immediately divide into 2 big beautiful swirls and swim away. We turn around and cruise over some more reefs, when I get the sense we’ve being watched. I look behind us, and faithfully following us along is an enormous big school of yellow fish. We feed them some more and they follow us around for the rest of our snorkel. It was incredible.
Oh yeah, and I saw a shark but APPARENTLY IT WOULD HAVE PRETTY MUCH SHAKEN MY HAND they’re so friendly, but I was scared, so there. 2 dead grey eyes and those awful gills made me walk on water to get out, that’s for sure. *shudder*.
Mum and I having a giggle and enjoying the sunset.

Each night the staff would do a beautiful singalong and it was wonderful to watch, drinking $70 a bottle wine, that if we had bought in the supermarket back home, would have been $11. Luckily, they were doing up the pool complex while we were there, and we all got $300 credit on our rooms. Even with $70 a bottle wines, we didn’t go over our credits, so we almost made a profit on the holiday. Now that’s service.
Where was I. Oh yes the singing. They were all beautiful singers and dancers, except for this one guy, who we called Easter Island guy because his face was an exact match to those spooky rock statues. He was our firm favourite and we cheered him on as he clapped in the wrong places and mumbled the words. Brilliant.

Easter Island guy in the yellow lavalava. I'm clapping...why aren't you?

Amelie was a perfect angel on her trip and gave her Mum and Dad some time to relax even. Here she is cruising around in her cute little romper suit. The staff adored her and she was high-fiving everyone who would stop.

Loving the hammocks that were dotted around everywhere.

The whole crew.

So it was 6 weeks ago now, and Winter hadn’t really started when we left to be fully able to appreciate the heat, and lack of clothes. It bloody has now though, and I look at my photos and get some sense of the caressing warm breeze and silken cool water. Ahhhh. Luckily I’ve been so busy with work that I haven’t really noticed the mornings being darker and the nights coming earlier. Last week though we had 4 frosts in a row – Tauranga doesn’t get frosts so this was serious news people – stop sniggering if you’re the owner of a snow plough. My hibiscus and tamarillo tree were severely damaged and the leaves all frost burned so I’ve mulched them and patted them lovingly and here’s hoping they stage a comeback come Spring…only 5 more weeks! Weee!

In other news, the house is 90% there. I was all gung-ho about painting, and even managed to get through the spare room, the office and the hallway, which LOOK OKAY if you squint and pull the blinds. However due to work being CRAP and winter nearly over, Mum came to the rescue and organised a painter guy to finish it off. 4 days later, zip zap zip, and he’s done. Looks AMAZING. A few days after that, the carpet goes down. I haven’t sat on my couch all week. The carpet makes the house so much warmer and smarter. I know, you’re DYING to see photos because other people’s reno pics are always fascinating – but the curtains are going in early August and I’ll take pics then.

I have been doing some really fun art stuff for the house, using old family stuff. Dad had a big coin collection he’d amassed when he did his OE back in the sixties, so I polished those up and am going to do a big design with them and frame them. Not sure what the design will be yet. One was a Queen Vic penny from 1897 which was out of it. I don't think NZ even HAD money then. It was all about the muskets and the blankets. He also had a massive stamp collection going mouldy in his wardrobe, so I liberated that also, and found some Hungarian stamps celebrating the first man on the moon, and Romania celebrating the Innsbruck Winter Olympics and so on. They’re gorgeous and bright, so have put into square white frames. Will post pics next time. Also have framed this jigsaw of lolly jars that my sister and I used to to when we were very young, so it’s nostalgic AND cute to look at. Am very proud of myself as I am not a very creative person.

For those of you who are Basil fans: cute things he has done lately.
I have my goldfish back from a friend who was looking after him – long story – and he’s in a lovely glass bowl on my coffee table. When I got home from work one day I noticed paw prints on the coffee table, and Basil sitting on his favourite arm chair, laser eyes locked onto the bowl. Leaving the room, I hear a thud, and Basil’s jumped back onto the coffee table and is DRINKING THE FISH WATER. I could put the bowl in a high place or with a mat over it but he doesn’t seem that interested in catching the fish – just watching it. Which no doubt makes the fish really un-stressed out. His name’s Hot Dog by the way….a lovely wee goldfish with a very pretty floaty tail.
Basil also loves the new carpet – so much so that he is now sleeping on the floor instead of my bed. He lay on it while the carpet guys were trying to lay it, which was cute. Well I thought it was. He’s very fluffy and round at the moment, due to massive bikkie bowls and Terrine of Duck, and a big thick winter coat. He’s really very sweet.

So anyway, longest post in the world, that is what I’ve been doing for the past 6 weeks – what about you?

I approve of your choice.

The house is a pig sty at the moment, what with the painting and testpots and carpet samples and dust and furballs and washing that hasn't been done all week because it has been raining solidly for 72 hours. I am not exaggerating. The concrete footpaths squelch. It's good news for the farmers who were suffering from a TERRIBLE drought, WORST in a hundred years, we're ALL going to die and lose our farms etc. Now that it's raining it's all, our topsoil has been DESTROYED....our feed has turned to MUSH and we're all going to die and lose our farms. Seriously. The only thing that makes a farmer happy is a hot meal and a whiskey.

Anyhoo. I have nearly finished the painting of my office, and it looks seriously cute already. Basil follows me around, gingerly high-stepping through the plastic drop sheets and getting a good sniff of paint fumes.


He also has approved of my decision on carpet, by taking his pick of 9 or so different samples lying around the lounge, and sprawling on the very one I chose.

I luff him. The carpet is a sisal pattern with pale/dark grey bits. It looks very smart under my awesome armchair and couch.

In other news, I'm off to Taupo this weekend for some R&R with R, and I have sorted out the worlds best menu. All this painting means I've been eating some terrible meals on the run.

So this is what we're having over the weekend:

Friday night: Home made pizza, with wild mushrooms, blue cheese, caramelised onion and crispy sage (lifted shamelessly from SPQR's gorgeous pizza menu) with a fresh green salad

Saturday brunch: Eggs benedict on split muffins with wilted spinach and home made hollandaise

Saturday dinner: Roast lamb with all the trimmings. I have just read Eating for England by Nigel Slater and have been craving a good roast ever since. Excellent book. This will be followed by feijoa crumble and, I'm guessing, a lot of Central Otago Pinot Noir.

Sunday brunch: There's a gorgeous cafe up the road in Acacia Bay - I can't remember the name of it - but it's fantastic. I'm thinking the newspaper, strong coffee, and something with bacon.

At the same time we're going to do a big walk around Huka Falls, then go to the hot pools at DeBretts. Maybe some golf at Wairakei. Or maybe, I'll lie on the couch and read my Florence Broadhurst biography and have my head patted. Bliss.

Roy G. Biv

So picking colours for the house was promised to me as being "the fun part". If so, I am dreading the rest of the process.

Not having an eye for things like this, in fact I tend to just find one I like and go Awesome! Regardless of whether it actually matches the furniture, bedding, curtains, light etc. Seriously though, who cares, so long as it makes you happy. I LIKED the idea of a bright orange hallway and so did Basil.
But my mother and sister have said "Resale value" so many times I think it's sunk in.

So these are the colours I am going for:
Resene Hot Chile, Gull Grey, Half Delta and Black White. It looks gorgeous all together and my sister found some fabric from James Dunlop that ties in beautifully. She has a great eye for this kind of thing, but I got the boobs, so it all evens out.

The circle fabric is going in my spare room, which is going to be painted in Hot Chile (the red on the left), and also into the office, which is going to be Gull Grey (bottom left).

Stripes are going into the lounge, which is going to be Black White (bottom right). Half Delta is going into my bedroom, along with a roll of Florence Broadhurst wallpaper which is going to be a gift from me to me for being so awesome, and some kind of curtain fabric that I just haven't found yet. Oh yeah, and I'm carpeting most of the house too.

You know how I have a great garden that can grow anything, well I planted a dollar coin and it produced this awesome money tree, which is how I can pay for all of this. Sweet huh?

So with all of this going on, you'd think I'd be walking and talking paint, but no, last night I had a dream that Danny deVito beat me up. WTF??

Things I did in the weekend

Had lunch in the sun with a workmate…eye fillet sandwich with chips for $22. That’s a bargain.
Drinks in town that weren’t that bad. I made myself have a hiatus from the Strand in Tauranga because it is Always The Same so first night back – okay.
Caught a surprise episode of Little Britain… “shut up! Don’t go giving me evils!”
Had a fun hour at Mega Mitre Ten where I bought buckets and plants and damp-rid stuff and a BBQ cover. Sometimes I think I should have been a guy. I even stood with my feet wide apart and my arms crossed.
Did 4 loads of washing and cleaned the BBQ and popped it into its smart new cover.
Tidied out all the wardrobes and changed the sheets on my bed. Is there anything more annoying than stuffing a duvet into a new cover? All of a sudden it seems to have 39 corners and the fabric is made of velcro and refuses to move and after ten minutes of swearing and getting all red in the face it’s just in one big ball in the far corner. Bed making knack: I don’t have one.
Went to the paint shop where I was helped by a very sweet but dim assistant.
“I kinda like red, but also green. What would you suggest?”
“Um, I’m not sure…..um…..”
“Look I want to spend money here. I’m thinking I like this green. What goes with it?”
“Let me just flick through an enormous file of paint colours and not say anything for ten minutes in the hope you’ll go away.”
Then went and found a cute little Asian supermarket tucked away not far from me, and bought some kaffir lime leaves, galangal and lemon grass, and along with a few other things made R and me Tom Kha Gai for dinner. Then we took a couple of bottles of wine down to the beach, in the dark, wearing a sheepskin jacket, and we watched the surf by moonlight. It was cool.
Dayligh savings went back overnight so it was another early start on Sunday, with a trip to my sister’s and a special cuddle with Amelie who has started to walk with the aid of a little trolley…she’s very happy with herself. I miss the tiny baby though! It’s her very first birthday on the 22nd – what’s good for a one year old? She tends to grow out of any clothes I get her so I’m thinking toys. So far she likes cat biscuits, wallets, handbags and my jandals, so I could just give her a purse stuffed with Whiskas.
Megs had lots of awesome fabric samples from Freedom so she sorted me out with a colour scheme and sent me back to Resene where I bought 9 pots of light greys, blue greys, deep reds and whites. Looks very cool.
I then swept and dusted and re-organised the potting shed, sorted out my crazy yuccas around the house – I hate them and if anyone wants them please come get them – then I painted some sheets of newspaper with the test pots and blu-tacked them around the house. Am battling with finding the right red.
Then R brought round some fresh fish which I put with some roasties and we watched the Simpsons. I fell asleep at 10 to 8. So you know, I didn’t do much.

Girls girls girls

So this weekend I am pootling up to Auckland (or as we like to call it, Auckalofa) for a myriad of reasons, number one being it's my besties' birthdays on Sat and Mon and I feel the need to celebrate with them; number two being that I have a ticket to the Pol-ees and Fergie Ferg on Saturday; number three being that I haven't been out of Tauranga since before Christmas and I'm feeling the need to leave my comfort zone; number four being that it's a nice 2.5 hour drive and the little Golf is going to get a workout.
So there you have it. I am very much looking forward to a fun weekend of hanging with my oldest friends in the sun singing 80's tunes.

In other news, life at my humble abode has brightened considerably with the arrival of a temporary flatmate. Another bestie has arrived back from the UK and is doing some locum work here and needs a place to stay. She is a better flatmate than Basil, because she empties the dishwasher and gets my washing in, and doesn't eat cicadas in full view of everyone. We have conversations like this:
"Ohmygod I love that nailpolish, where did you get it?"
"I got it sent over from London, it's the latest cool colour!" (Russian Navy by OPI FYI)
"Oh can I please borrow it? You can borrow my ones. Let's pool our nail polishes!"
"Oooh I like that orange one. It looks really good on tanned feet."
"I wore that one to the races this year. It chips really badly though."
"I never get chips, it's because I take silica."
"Silica you say? I tried it but it didn't work...I take a multi."
"I reckon you should try magnesium too if you're going to the gym this year."
"Do you think? Oh my god is that Scarlett Johansson? She is so boring."
"Urgh I hate her. Do you reckon Nicole Richie has had work done?"

and so on. These conversations, involving beauty routines, celebrities, weddings, people we know and boys, last approximately 10 hours, and even Basil escapes outside to find a bloke to have a beer with so we can't paint his claws bright pink. It's the best.

Green thumbs

Here is a list of things I have in my garden:

• A plum tree


• A tamarillo tree


• A feijoa bush


• A walnut tree


• A tree that is about to fruit, but with what, I don't know. Could be a pear, but I'm thinking apple


• A lemon tree


• A mandarin tree


• A raspberry bush

Here is a list of things I have in my veggie garden

• Sage, thyme, tarragon, dill, rosemary, basil


• Spinach


• Cherry tomatoes


• Proper tomatoes


• Strawberries


• Cucumbers

I have discovered that I love gardening. I spend most of my waking hours in there, weeding, pruning, planting. Basil follows me around and pounces on flies and spiders, climbing trees and rolling in the grass. I picked the first ripe plums off the tree this morning and brought them into work to share. The cherry tomatoes should be next, I am going to be inundated with those.

If anyone has any tomato chutney or plum sauce recipes, feel free to share!

My favourite place to be.

A good weekend.

Once upon a time, in a land far far away from pretty much everywhere else, a girl was making her new house a home. The weather gods smiled and gave her sun and warmth. She was most grateful.

Firstly the girl decided to test out her oven and make muffins, using lemons from her own tree. They turned out most delicious, and caused her stomach and thighs to expand gratefully, not being big enough already.

Basil the cat liked them too, although he would have preferred it if gravy beef had been the primary ingredient.

The girl (it's me in case you're wondering) then pottered off to the garden centre where she felt very grown up, perusing the enormous selection of....plants n shit. A gardening addiction may well be in the wings people. Anyhoo she bought some herbs and a daphne bush, fertiliser (sheep poo - no it's not just on the road for anyone to pick up) and potting mix. On her arrival at home, she managed to spill half the potting mix on the lawn, and possibly damage the daphne bush's roots - but hopefully not. The veggie garden was given a good going over with a trowel, and sheep pellets were sprinkled liberally all over. This is what she found whilst energetically digging away:

The world's most enormous worm. This is it all scrunched up. The girl threw up in her mouth a little bit, but knows that worms are excellent for gardens, so put it back. Upon further digging, she found a whole colony of World's Fattest Worms, which gave her the heebie jeebies, but managed to get over it and plant a wee herb garden.

Later that day, the delivery men gods smiled on her and said Your new couch and armchairs shall be delivered not on time, but early! This made her skip for joy.

Her lounge no longer looks like a student flat, and instead is a stylish yet comfortable page out of the Freedom Furniture catalogue.

She loves her armchair so much she doesn't even let the cat sit in it. Oh alright. Just don't scratch it...oh alright. Isn't it awesome? Please ignore the purple curtains. They will be torched just as soon as she can afford new ones.

She very much enjoyed lying on this last night watching Top Gear.

After re-arranging the furniture ooh, about 10 times, she pootled off in her little car to babysit her nieces and nephew (6, 3 and 1). The child gods smiled at her and made the kids so tired that they Didn't Get Up Once after they had been put to bed. Maybe they felt sorry for her after having to read the 6 year old a Very Very Boring story about a stupid fairy ball with these lame-ass fairies that just went on and on and on and on. Give me Roald Dahl anyday.

She then pootled back to her wee home, was greeted by a purring cat, and fell asleep in her bed of clouds and didn't wake up until 10 am the next day.
The End.

Home sweet Home

House move is over. It's everything I wished for and more. I just adore it and am so so happy to be in my own place, with all my stuff around, and it's lovely to know that I will be there indefinitely.

Anyhoo details please. Moving began on Saturday when I had to be at the new house to receive the new fridge and washing machine I had ordered. I turned up and bless their little hearts, it was a hive of cleaning activity from the previous owners. The movers turned up on time! and installed! the appliances for me. Kudos to them.

Later that afternoon it was serious moving time. Megs and Ben turned up with Amelie who was a champion. She kept herself amused in her wee capsule for 3 hours and Ben fed her a bottle and she had a wee snoozy so Megs could arrange stuff and be Monica to her hearts content.

I tell you it's exhausting stuff, moving. That night I went to M&B's place to watch the rugby (All Black's vs Australia and we won YEAH!) and I was having to prop my eyes open with toothpicks.

Sunday and Monday were more unpacking, spending of money, and general joy and Snoopy dancing at knowing it was ALL MINE and MINE ALONE (except for the 2/3rds that Mum owns, but hey).

Anyhoo - photos of stuff. Everything looks a bit Amish because I only have the basics in. You'll have to imagine all the photos and art and actual furniture that will eventually turn up in a few months.

This was the very first thing I unpacked. I smell Good.

My room. This bed (new) is The most comfy bed in the Universe. It's like lying on clouds. I'm going to lose the feature wall and put up some mega hip wall paper, eventually. I have a lovely view of the garden and sunset at night.

The spare room. This is where the Amish look comes into its own. I have a few prints to put up and will get some cushions to liven it up a bit.

My hideous veneer bookcase with my wonderful wonderful books. I have had these in storage since March, and opening each box was like going to an old friend's reunion.
These are the only pics I have so far of the house, but if you want to see more, go here.

One of my most favourite parts of the weekend was The First Shop. My sister and I discussed my shopping list like it was a wedding registry or a five-year-old's first letter to Santa. I love the supermarket, in case you didn't know, and I always go down every aisle, and try every new product. Anyhoo even I had a heart attack when I saw the bill. Let's just say that for someone living on their own who buys their lunch every day it was somewhat high. Here is a pic of the trolley and see if you can guess what this cost me:

The receipt took whole minutes to come out of the till.

This is what it looks like in my beautifully organised pantry. I could look at this for hours. Date Man found the fact that all the labels turned outwards was an excellent indication of my personality.

After all that shopping, this is what I had for my first dinner at my new house:

A burnt bacon and fried egg sandwich with 2 triple strength brandies. It was delicious.

I shall leave you with some thoughts:

Weirdest thing I had to buy: Castors to stop my beds rolling across the polished wooden floors. Possibly not fun if I have a nocturnal visitor.

Item that brought me to tears: fucking fucking drying racks. Somehow I always manage to get myself tangled up in them and they fall over and poke me in the guts. I hate them.

Most expensive thing I bought at the supermarket: Instant coffee. I don't even like it that much.

Odd feeling when unpacking: coming across all the photos from my Sth America trip. Quickly put away in a dark corner to be looked at when ready.

Thing I love the most: my bathroom. It looks ridiculously cool.

Most useful house-hold item: Scissors. They haven't been out of my hands for days.

Quick 180: doing my first clothes wash and hanging it out was fun. Doing the sixth wasn't.

Best discovery of new house: There is a fully functional compost bin out the back. I don't quite know what to do with it, but am sure it will come in handy.

Can't wait for arrival of: new kitten - to be picked up from SPCA this Saturday. YAY!

Signed, sealed, delivered....

Hello friends. Yes it's all been confirmed...I am now the owner of a renovated villa?bungalow? built in 1967 for a little old lady. I own a HOUSE! This is a bit of a Big Deal to me. The only other thing I own of any value is my car, which is a piece of shit, so it's all a bit overwhelming.

Anyhoo. Let's do a tour. You may have seen these photos before but hey, it's my blog, I can repeat myself if I want to.

This is the front of the house. I am going to replace the letterbox with something funky, and rip up the driveway and put gravel in. I like the sound of cars coming up a gravel driveway. Note the very cool iceberg roses. I like.

This is the side view. (baby was not included, but I wish it was, because he is very cute and crawls like a lobster). Note lemon tree. I am going to plant feijoas as well, and put either jasmine or wisteria up the pergola.

This is the enormous backyard. The section is 637 square metres, so I am going to have to learn how to use a lawnmower. I am envisaging croquet, petanque and backyard cricket with jugs of Pimms in the summer. I would also like a swing somewhere, or a hammock. However it's 12 degrees today so not top of my list of priorities.

Let's go inside.

My new kitchen. Nice, easy clean wooden floors, and brand new benches and things. I am going to create masterpieces in here.

AND

The lounge. These pics sold me on the place - look at that nice sun and french doors. My family are obsessed with french doors. Why? Who knows. You will be able to find me most days sprawling on a rug with a good book, with the cat stretched out next to me purring, listening to some quality George. Heaven.

I don't have any pictures of the bedrooms but be assured they are very cute and have lovely views of the garden.

Thank you for joining me on this tour....any decorating ideas would be great!

Have run out of biblical references...

So the wait is on. I haven't slept properly in 4 days. Last night I believe I was awake for 2 hours dithering over whether to put the drying rack on rainy days in the spare room, or the office. Of a house I don't even own yet. YET.
They have accepted our offer, so we are rushing a sale and purchase through, and it should (PLEASE!) all be done by tomorrow evening. Then it's a building report, then we go unconditional, then we settle late July. Time is going veeeeery slooooowly.
A sneak peek at the house:

I won't show any more Just In Case it all turns to custard. But isn't it adorable?

On a completely different note.....oh who am I kidding, it's all about the house. I have nothing more to add as it's filling my days and nights, and everything else is out the window. Cross fingers that I'll be posting more pictures tomorrow.

And the lending begat a sense of anxiety

So am in that wonderful phase of real estate - the "wait and see" bit. We'll wait before we put an offer on...then we'll see if they accept it. In the meantime I am mentally decorating the house in my head. With awesomely expensive things, like this.
I covet that wallpaper. I have decided that my colour scheme will be dark red, pale green, dark dark brown, and cream. Sounds hideous but works well funnily enough. Will post photos of progress anyway. Listen to me - we haven't even put an offer on yet!!

ANYHOO.....what else is on. This weekend I am heading back to Auckland to catch up with the crew. I intend to have a very Auckland weekend of sitting in bars nattering, and shopping (window shopping). NZ has just had the first snowfall of the season down South, so it will be a lovely cozy winter weekend. On the news this morning they showed the farms down South - where Jimmy lives - and all the sheep were covered in snow and looking somewhat sad. Poor things. Now that I think about it I would have been a terrible farmer's wife. All the sheep would be in by the fire and I would be making them hot soup.

And there was finance, and she saw that it was good.

So today was a very scary appointment with a mortgage broker in Tauranga, who I don't mind naming because they are super good. It was somewhat embarrassing having to list my "assets" - of which there are none - well, a rusty bucket of a stupid car (still hating it), a minor share portfolio, and some jewellery. Also had to hand over 3 months worth of bank statements. This was even more embarrassing. Bars, restaurants, clothes, bars and more bars. I guess later on I'll frame it as a reminder of what my life used to be like before I moved to suburbia and became an average Kiwi saddled with an enormous mortgage. AND I haven't even had kids yet.

So the visit to the coveted house went well - it is just super super adorable. I hope the owners haven't found this blog, because if they have, then the house needs a lot of work and the traffic noise really is appalling. And what were they thinking with that gorgeous landscaped garden and polished rimu floors....I guess the next step is to put an offer on (eeeeeek!).

In the meantime I am still looking at other houses, albeit somewhat half heartedly, so that I shan't be tooooo disappointed if it all falls through. Who am I kidding....I'll be devo'd. Wish me luck!

The Book of Real Estate, C1v1

Oh hi! This post may look weird because I am writing it from my sister's iBook. I can't quite get the hang of it. She scorns a PC but I am so used to them after 7 years of staring at one that I think they are the way to go.
Anyhoo it's Queen's Birthday weekend this weekend....the last public holiday in NZ for aaaaaaaages....like till October. Most people use it as a last ditch attempt to get out and commune with nature before succumbing to the hibernational urge of Winter...but I am doing something quite different.

That's right people....I am Trying to Buy a House. I am boring myself already. I am living, sleeping, eating and breathing Tauranga Real Estate. Having never bought anything more than an insanely expensive fake fur coat, I am finding it all quite hard to take seriously. I have looked at about 8 houses this weekend, all quite varied, some that were an affront to my standard of living recently...(thank you Mum for letting me live in your apartment in Auckland). BUT the time has come to get on with it.

I have done what everyone says not to do and fallen in love with a house before I've even gone through it (3pm tomorrow and I am counting down). It's just perfect - french doors off the lounge, lots of sun, wooden floors, 3 bedroom, off street parking, and within my price range. It also has a lemon tree and a stand of rose bushes under the kitchen window. Could that be more pretty? I am already going through House and Garden and Urbis and thinking of ways to decorate it. So please everyone...wish me luck....that it's as good as it looks in the photos (enough of the hollow laughter) and that absolutely noone else has seen the ad and they want a super quick sale.

As an aside, I will FINALLY be able to get a pet cat. I have had 2 cats in my previous lives, and something always happened (usually a heartbreak) that involved having to move and give the cats away, which was gut-wrenching. (they were called Polly and Rudy if anyone is interested....but that's a whole post in itself). Finally I am going to be settled down and with my own place. I am going to head to the SPCA, slam my wallet on the counter and bark "gimme the oldest, ugliest moggy you've got!" and hopefully a big mangled ginger tom gets carried out. Things for you to think about - possible names for this lucky feline.
This weekend I am housesitting at my sisters (off visiting the grandparents) and they have 2 moggies, Rita and Minnie. I have already bought them 4 lots of flash cat food. Anyhoo point being: the title of my blog will finally have some meaning.

Will post again after I make a decision on this house....in the meantime - would love to hear some funny real estate stories, and possibly some positive ones.....so far I'm getting a fair amount of Negative Nancys and Nigels!

Oh yeah also. Having viewed my sister and her husband stare blankly at the fridge when it came time for dinner on Friday, (they're up to week 6 of nocturnal interruptions) I have just made 6 dinners of lasagne, beef and red wine casserole and chicken, bacon and mushrooms in a creamy white wine sauce, and put them in the freezer. I draw the line at providing extra breast milk however.

Aims xxxx