A mother's thought processes

Scene: interior of a bright, sunny, cluttered house. The radio and TV are both going and there are toys everywhere. Enter MOTHER and BABY.

Mother: Time for snoozies! Snoozy time! Yes it's snoozy time for my special little guy!
Baby: .....is it? I was sure I just HAD a nap last week....
Mother: Oh yes it is! It's snoozy woozy time! Beddie-byes for the little guy!
Baby:...well if you say so.....

Baby is put to bed.

Mother: now to....
Baby: IS NOT BED TIME
Mother: hush hush hush snoozy snoozy snoozy
Baby: DEFINITELY IS NOT BED TIME
Mother: zzzzzzzz zzzzzz zzzzzzzz pat pat pat
Baby....okay maybe I am a little bit tired... *shuts eyes*

Mother does a little Snoopy dance and wonders how many chores she can get done in the usual 40 minute nap stretch.

Mother: Shower. Dress. Dishes. Prepare bottles. Prepare dinner. Washing in. Washing out. Tidy bedroom.
Baby: OKAY NAP TIME FINISHED.
Mother: shhhh shhhhhh pat pat pat more snoozies please
Baby: mmm okay I will give you a break today *shuts eyes*

Mother does another Snoopy dance and sits down with coffee and magazine.

Mother: There's a world out there apparently. What are all these cafes and restaurants being reviewed that I have never heard of? Who would wear THAT? That is a cool nail polish colour. I bet Baby would love that on me.

Mother: Holy shit. I've read this whole magazine. No noise from nursery. OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD
Baby: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Mother: Oh thank fuck.

Mother: Maybe I should wake him. He won't sleep tonight. No I won't wake him. I'll get some more chores done. Or maybe I should rest. Catch up on Downton. No, chores. Right making baby food....weeding garden.....wrapping Christmas presents. Still no noise.
Baby: ZZZZZZZZZZZ
Mother: This is weird. Maybe he isn't well?
Baby: ZZZZZZZZZZ
Mother: I am undecided.
Baby: ZZZZZZZZZZZ
Mother: Well they all say not to wake a sleeping baby. I'll take it as a bonus and treat myself to a second magazine. Gosh what a lucky Mum I am.....
Baby: NAP TIME OVER!!!!! LIKE REALLY OVER!!!!!!! I WANT OUT!!!